I went super nova.
That's probably an exaggeration, but only by a little. Regular nova?
I know that we are all our own worst critics but i want it to be made clear, I am not ashamed or embarrassed nor do I feel like a failure. Skipping 2 days of writing just makes me.....disappointed. I am disappointed in myself. Partially it has to do with the reason, I feel like I might be too old to go out drinking too late and be a worthless pile of nothing for an entire day afterward.
But it's really more that I could have still written SOMETHING. Literally any thing, and I would have kept the promise I made to myself, as well as my 5's of 6 of readers. But I made a conscious choice not to, I was already so disappointed in my decisions, I just piled on and piled on.
In case you are wondering, it turns out none of those decisions improved my disposition, nor alleviated the disappointment. Go figure.
And I genuinely considered just quitting this whole crazy thing. After all, how can I write every day for a year if days 8 and 9 were skipped out of sheer lunacy.
Well the answer is that I can't. I can't get those 2 days back. But I don't want to quit, and if this time next year those 2 days make all the difference, well then I guess they were meant to happen that way. If they don't, which I have a sneaking suspicion will be the case, maybe I'll look back and laugh or be a little kinder to myself than I am being at this current moment.
That's the dream.